We just lost the most important home game today.
It’s only 10 PM but I feel like already 2 AM. The campus is so quiet and everybody I saw was upset with a bitter smile. For me, I am never into basketball and the result doesn’t matter much to me to some extent. However, I can feel the subtle change in my mood in such down campus vibe. A better thing is that it is finally the right time for me to sit down and calm down, reflecting on the past 2 months which I should have done early.
So many things happened within two months. It was certainly much busier than the previous semester. I joined a new extracurricular club, got a part-time job in the OIT office, read a bunch of esoteric philosophy and sociology papers, pledged a national service fraternity, tried to cook Chinese food every weekend with friends… All of those, I enjoyed a lot, far more than I expected.
The world also has been changed a lot. Bad things happened. The Russia-Ukraine War has been imposed huge impacts on each and every aspect of people’s lives, globally. I remember debating with my friends on the roles those world leaders play in such incidents. We could not agree with each other. Nobody could agree with anybody. There are people in the student group chat raising money for the Ukrainian military, joking on “Let’s go Russia”. There are all kinds of people in this world, no matter which part. I have experienced a great sense of hostility and extremity around my daily life, the Internet life, and the lands far away. Nevertheless, I hold an optimist’s view of the world, or at least, for the world I perceive. Recently I have taken up a routine of reading every day before going to bed. From the book A Wavy Life 人生海海, I learned that “The life is not what you have lived for, the life is what you have remembered for”. Relating to my current understanding and experience, I enjoy the moment no matter I stepped up or I gave in.
Also, I celebrated the first-ever Chinese New Year away from home. It was refreshing and memorable. I wrapped almost hundreds of dumplings with friends from the church. I bought a lot of classic snacks and just wanted to show my gratitude to this special community. It was the first new year I didn’t watch CCTV Gala. Yet, worth celebrating and remembering for years.
It brings me thoughts onto the religion now. Recently I finished a short introduction book to Christianity by the pastor. It was not mind-blowing but brought up my attention and curiosity to examine the religion and metaphysical questions like what I live for. I always believed in there exists a God who created this beloved world. However, I am still not sure who he is. What does a God truly mean to me, my life, my future, and even my afterlife? As for now, I believe my friends believe for a reason. I believe I desperately want to learn more.
The most rewarding thing this semester so far is the comments by my writing 101 class professor. This is also the most rewarding class for me this semester. I do feel like I have learned a lot from this class in terms of writing skills and the mindset to perceive the world. As we learned about the labor of sports, contemporary spectator sports is more than an entertaining sport. It is an institution that could suppress humanity, widen inequality and lead to consequences. Everything is doubtful, no matter how good or bad it looks.
Life goes on and on~
Spring break starts now.